Occasionally, I have "place visits" in my dreams and these make me cry, too; mostly because I am usually dreaming of some wonderful destination that I am longing to be in; Paris, the pyramids in Mexico, or my grandparents' old house that has long since been demolished and turned into two family homes. If I could time travel, I would go back to the brick front steps of that house or to huge swing in the backyard just to have another conversation with them. God, I miss them every day.
This morning, I had a visit of another sort. I woke up suddenly to the sound of crashing from the living room. Since I have cats and am used to being awoken thus, I just figured I would survey the damage when I was good and ready (it was not the Christmas tree as I had feared, only some heavy cookbooks). I managed to fall back to sleep almost instantly and immediately fell into a luscious visit with a 6'4 WWE wrestler. It was the kind of dream that made me feel like I needed a mental shower upon waking; or a long soak in a hot bath for real. It was a very nice dream. It was so nice, in fact, that it made me feel guilty enough that I needed to write up this post; as a kind of confession.
I know I can't control my subconscious. My rich fantasy life is as deeply embedded in my DNA as graying, mousy brown hair, blue eyes and irrational guilt. They are all parts of me that I am learning to embrace.
Whatever it means and however it makes me feel, it was nice to wake up with a smile on my face, for once, on an otherwise dreary Monday. Now, if you don't mind, I am going back to bed.