Thursday, September 4, 2014

"Are You Here?" Movie Review ***Spoilers and Yelling...Lots of Yelling***

On a rainy day, like today, one of my favorite things to do is watch a movie. 
My kids are in school, I have nowhere to be in particular today, so it was just me and OnDemand.

I had come across the title "Are You Here?" a few times recently and I thought it sounded promising.  I mean, Zach Galifianakis and Amy Poehler?  What could be bad about this movie?!?!?

As it turns out, virtually everything.  

Now, I am no movie writing genius, but I would think when you cast a couple of 
the funniest people in Hollywood today you would have them be, oh, I don't 
know...funny?  No!  You say?  That is too obvious?  Instead, lets portray them
as a severely depressed, borderline sociopath (Galifianakis) and an uncaring, selfish bitch (Poehler) and Voila! You have this horrendous piece of crap that I ruined a perfectly good rainy day (and wasted $7.99.  Thanks, bloodsucking BigCable!) watching.

Wait, it's a DRAMEDY, therefore, it doesn't need to be funny or serious, apparently, just really, really, horrifyingly awful.

You know when you get to the end of a movie and you are like "No.  NONONONONO, there is NO WAY that that is the ending.  NO!!!  WHAT DID I JUST WATCH?!?!?!???  HOW IS THAT AN ENDING???!!!???  IS THIS REALLY HOW I JUST SPENT TWO HOURS OF MY LIFE?!?!?!? AAAHHHHH!!!!!!!!"

What does it all mean?  Only Amish people really get it?  Everything else is plastic horses?  WHATDIDIJUSTWATCH?

Here is the link if you don't believe me.  Just don't ever say I didn't try and spare you.

Zach and Amy, for the love of all that I hold dear, PLEASE, PLEASE don't ever make me hate you in a movie again.  Amen.